I have been wanting to get out and go fishing for quite a long time, and this past weekend, I finally did. The ice has thawed, and they are letting Nimisilla fill with the ice melt. So, on Saturday, I dropped my kayak from the ceiling, loaded it on the car, and drove to the reservoir.

For the first two or three hours, I was fine, but I didn�t get as much as a nibble. No matter – I don�t really go out to catch fish anyway, I just want to be alone.

As the sun started to set, I paddled over to the bridge, and dropped anchor to try to get into some crappie there, but only managed to catch two little guys. As the sun started to set, I started getting too cold to stay on the water, so I paddled home, a little sad because dusk is the best time to catch crappie. Oh well.

I snapped this photo on my way back to the car.

I decided to try to paint it tonight. I have been really down on myself again, because I started experimenting with trying to paint a self portrait. It didn�t go well.

These failed attempts told me i I really do need to work on drawing, and composition. Unfortunately, I am at a loss for how to improve in regards to composition, beyond knowing the basics like the rule of thirds, leading lines, etc. I just can�t seem to compose images in a way that seems enticing, maybe that�s the real challenge.

I started this watercolor thing because I liked it. I started blogging about it because I wanted a place to take notes so I could learn from my paintings. And I�m keeping up with it because I want to prove that you don�t need to be naturally gifted at something if you just work really damn hard at it.

With that goal in mind, I paint about three or four times a week, almost always after I�ve put the kids to bed. So it�s not at all out of the ordinary for me to be sitting at my desk painting until 2am on any given day.

After two and a half years of that, I really want to start seeing the hard work part off, and yet I still feel grossly inadequate.

But that�s the thing. If you want to be good, and you aren�t naturally gifted, it doesn�t take just work, it takes A LOT of work. So… I�m going to keep pushing. I feel discouraged, and wonder, maybe I�m wrong. Maybe you CAN�T get good through hard work alone. Maybe you really do need that spark of intangible immeasurable ineffable talent. I don�t know yet, but I�m going to find out. I�m going to keep trying, keep pushing, keep practicing, and keep hoping for light bulbs to go off.

The painting I made tonight I�m half proud of. I really like that I used red for the trees, as they look much more natural than when I use a deep dark brown. I also liked some of the whispery grey trunks that I painted into the wet foliage, but I didn�t packing enough of them, you can�t even tell they are in the image.

I like the patterns on the lit side of the waves, but I got too wrapped up in itty bitty details when I painted the shadowed sides. I also don�t think the waves have enough of a rhythm to them, they just feel a little too choppy.

The colors I think are nice, and I like the way the water looks golden beneath the trees, and blue elsewhere, but I need some more soft edges on the waves in the blue part of the image. As I have rendered it here, there�s really no focal point. Next time, I think I�ll play down the detail on the reflections in The shadowed parts of the waves, and play up the detail on the highlighted parts.

I�ll also dial back a bit on the sky, and leave the water near the horizon as nothing but a dry brush stroke.

The composition itself isn�t mind blowing, there�s nothing that draws the eye through the image, so I�ll need to find a way to make it less rectangular blocks of interest. Hopefully, by incorporating some more soft edges, and perhaps playing with the shape of the waves, I can slide to some leading lines that will provide a better sense of depth, which should contribute to a sense of scale. I�m hoping that will all come together to make a painting with more emotion than this one.

Even though there are a lot of things I want to do differently, I�m still pleased with this. I have to keep reminding myself that this is just one more step on a very long journey. I�m not going to get to where I want to be in a few years. I genuinely don�t think I�ll be able to consistently paint things I�m proud of until I�ve been at it for a decade, maybe more.

But – that�s not to say this is bad. I think this is a good painting for me. It�s a bit sophomoric, but that�s appropriate. I�ll improve with time.

Here it is again.