I am in utter despair knowing that Trump won last night. I am afraid of the future, and disheartened to think of what this means for my black friends, my trans friends, my gay friends, and my latino friends. I think all of them are at greater risk today than they were when we went to bed last night.

This victory shows that it is easy to start a fire, and hard to put it out. Racism is alive and well in America, and anti-gay bigotry is as well. I don’t know what to do about it.

I want to rage against this outcome. I want to fight the future with claws balled in my fists. But there is nothing I can do. I feel like I have no voice. I have no agency. I have no hope that our system will protect us. This is really fucking dark.

The only hope I have is that America protected itself from him the last time. I think the hatred is more alive today than it was then, and I fear that this win will serve to embolden it further. I can’t do anything about that.

What I can do is promise to be better. I will not be changed. I will not be pressured into silence. I will not hide my love for trans communities. I will be a safe haven to the marginalized in every way that I can. I will speak up for those who don’t have power. I will stand in front of the violence to shield those unable to avoid it.

I hope it doesn’t come to this. But let’s be honest, it has. It already has come to this. The Republican parties in Ohio aired commercials telling me that it is not ok to be trans. They told me it is not ok to be Haitian. And these messages drove them into power because my neighbors agreed.

I am sick, and afraid, and angry, and grieving. I don’t know how to help. I can’t stop any of this – all I can do is promise to be better than the world around me.

At least join me in that.